kinky isn't kinky ANYMORE

[new_death_arise]

Where the **** are the women who love to be thrown around like ragdolls and sexually annihilated to the point they are limping their asses out of the bedroom (possibly crawling,) and are fine connoisseurs of experimenting with all the insane and preposterously angled sex positions?

I mean seriously, what passes as sex nowadays is pathetic. There is a fine array of positions and other acts you can do besides the boring as **** missionary and doggie style positions. I approach sex as I approach working out; I savagely go at it until my entire body just flat out gives out.

I can understand if your dude isn't up to par ladies and can't put your ass up against a wall and tear into you like an Ethiopian going to town on a big mac, but seriously, compensate and reverse crab walk into him or some ****. God damn, quit making sex boring.

and guys, if you can barely lift your own body weight, nonetheless your gal, improvise. Buy a pull up bar, cuff them to that, and go batshit crazy.

Good lord, I guess I am going to have to **** all of you. LINE UP! scream

-Discuss sex and how you are more than likely not getting any

-What are your favorite positions and what would you like to do but can't find anybody to do it with?

-Why people have completely destroyed the meaning of kinky. Getting head isn't kinky you silly bitches, it's getting head. Dipping the dudes wang into chocolate and sprinkles and giving him head while wearing a Barbara Bush costume is kinky.

[Kieranasa]

Want to know why I am not kinky? One is 6 months old, one is 3, and the other is 4. By the time I get them in bed, I am usually exhausted, and so is Keith. In fact, half the time, we have this conversation in bed:

Keith: Hey, you want to ****?

Me: Sure.

Keith: Want to get on top?

Me: *whine* Can't you?

Keith: I don't want to.

*Silence*

Keith: Want to pretend we did it?

Me: Absolutely

*long silence*

Keith: Was it good for you?

Me: Better than you could possibly imagine.

*we fall asleep*

And when we actually do have sex, we have rock/paper/scissors competitions to figure out who does all the work.

So, that's what the **** happened to my kinkiness. I left it on the operating table in 2004.

[Anagaharad]

I work in the field and battle epic sized ticks, leeches, and water snakes for up to 14 hours a day plus a 2 hour drive. When I get home, I'm covered in mud, bug spray, and usually about 30 bug bites. All i want is a shower and a pair of underwear without mud and duck weed in them.

**** kinky.

[The_Dark_Poet]

Excuses excuses.

[Unsunghero]

I scare chicks off. They don't like kinky. Pussies. I love kinky.

That's why I am not getting any. But whatever. I still got my left and right and they are always up for a round of who's in my hand.It's always me, and I always win.

[new_death_arise]

o.0


AAAAAALLLRIIIIIIIIGHT Matt.....

[Deadside Dreams]

I scare chicks off. They don't like kinky. Pussies. I love kinky.

That's why I am not getting any. But whatever. I still got my left and right and they are always up for a round of who's in my hand.It's always me, and I always win.


Ever wonder if it's because you say things like that? If I was a chick, I wouldn't want to get with a log flogging, one handed wonder.

[PrincessParadox]

I did it my way.

On my own.

A lot.

Now I've got a sore hand.

On a more serious note, I refuse to let other people dictate how I should and shouldn't have sex.

If I want to alternate between wearing mah red lace corset and thigh-high leather boots while wielding a vibrating condom/chocolate body paint/handcuffs one night, and wearing my giant green pyjamas while drinking tea the next night, I will. There's an entire spectrum out there, not just missionary-and-vanilla-sheets at one end and swinging-from-the-chandelier-hot-wax-and-double-ended-dildos on the other. I love my many and varied shades of gray, and I'm hardly going to put myself in a box of someone else's making because they're just so disappointed in the way I have multiple orgasms while wearing a catsuit because hey, that doesn't fit a narrow definition of kinky.

I haven't had any complaints so far :D and I'd rather please myself than please other people.

[Unsunghero]

Ever wonder if it's because you say things like that? If I was a chick, I wouldn't want to get with a log flogging, one handed wonder.

A) Joke
B) Don't really care anymore. :P

[The_Dark_Poet]

Matt's always been a log flogging one handed wonder though.

[Unsunghero]

I'm just good at what I do. Dont hate, congratulate.

[The_Dark_Poet]

As long as it's not a hand shake.

[Unsunghero]

More of a very intricate high five. :rolleyes:

[Usual_Suspect11]

You don't make it sound very attractive. Ethiopian + big mac + cunnilingus = not attractive. Barbara Bush? definitely not attractive.

Awesome = watch a movie, have sex, snuggle a minute, and go to sleep all before 10pm. Wake up at 6am and have morning sex. Go have breakfast and get on with the day. Repeat.

[PrincessParadox]

Barbara Bush? definitely not attractive.

Michelle Obama on the other hand...

:throb

[Murmur]

tear into you like an Ethiopian going to town on a big mac

Bwahahahahaahahahahhaa

I am amused greatly. Great mental picture.

[FieryWaters]

That's why I am not getting any. But whatever. I still got my left and right and they are always up for a round of who's in my hand.It's always me, and I always win.


I. LOVE. YOU.

[Unsunghero]

Hey, thanks. I love me too ;)

[FieryWaters]

lol that had to have been the most amazing thing i've ever heard

[MeanLilBonnie]

What I find most intriguing about The Word of God is His usage of excellent grammar. The English language has gone through so many different distinctive changes over the centuries, mainly as it infused itself with the Danish and French dialects. Yet somehow The Word of God today clearly makes no visible mistakes by way of grammar, syntax or punctuation. It is truly an amazing feat that His message still comes through loud and clear no matter what version of whatever language...

HA! Just yankin' your chains. Actually I haven't tried the "hanging from the chandelier" thing yet, but got real close with a ceiling fan once. It ended badly, though. I seriously don't recommend it.

[Kieranasa]

I will have you all know that I tried kinky again the other night. Started off real strong. He was doing all the work at first, then he got tired. Then I did all the work, and I got tired. Then, we ended up panting in bed, occasionally sipping water and it ended with "Do you want to keep going?"

"Aer you going to do all the work?"

"No, most likely not"

"Ok. Well, goodnight then."

[The_Dark_Poet]

Megan I feel so horrible for you. I get hot kinky sex all weekend every weekend.

[FieryWaters]

christian... stop teasing her! lol i'm moderating the moderator. that's f*cked up

[The_Dark_Poet]

She'd be more than welcome to join me and my girlfriend, lol.

[FieryWaters]

lol i think you should ask your girlfriend's opinion on that one first!!

[MeanLilBonnie]

And the neighbor's!

[FieryWaters]

what's the neighbor got to do with anything?

[Unsunghero]

Well, considering I didn't get an invite I would be pretty pissed.

[MeanLilBonnie]

what's the neighbor got to do with anything?

:duh Neighbors. They hear stuff. Kinky, intense three way. Loud noises. Sprinkle in a bit of sarcastic humor. Allow to simmer. End result: joke. Serve with your choice of fries, onion rings or 2 middle fingers. I choose fries today. Yummy.

[FieryWaters]

hmmm... i like you. i think you get to stay here

[MeanLilBonnie]

Sweet. I'm gonna' go get my stuff.

[Deadside Dreams]

Michelle Obama on the other hand...

:throb

Is nothing but the n!gger wife of a mau mau?

I agree.

[Deadside Dreams]

I did it my way.

On my own.

A lot.

Now I've got a sore hand.

On a more serious note, I refuse to let other people dictate how I should and shouldn't have sex.

If I want to alternate between wearing mah red lace corset and thigh-high leather boots while wielding a vibrating condom/chocolate body paint/handcuffs one night, and wearing my giant green pyjamas while drinking tea the next night, I will. There's an entire spectrum out there, not just missionary-and-vanilla-sheets at one end and swinging-from-the-chandelier-hot-wax-and-double-ended-dildos on the other. I love my many and varied shades of gray, and I'm hardly going to put myself in a box of someone else's making because they're just so disappointed in the way I have multiple orgasms while wearing a catsuit because hey, that doesn't fit a narrow definition of kinky.

I haven't had any complaints so far :D and I'd rather please myself than please other people.

SEND PICTURES NOW

[The_Dark_Poet]

lol i think you should ask your girlfriend's opinion on that one first!!

Are you fuçking kidding me? The day I hooked up with my girlfriend she told me "You can have sex with anybody you want as long as you aren't looking for a relationship and are honest about it". It blew my mind at the time, but since then I've had sex with 1 girl named Kat while my girlfriend was passed out on the couch, then another two times with my girl involved.....and then an orgy(5 people....including Kat, Elexis, and Victoria + me and Elexis' boyfriend).

So yeah....

[PrincessParadox]

Expect pictures soon :angel

I've got my red lace corset dress, my cream silk corset with extra-long ribbons (for extra fun), my catsuit and, arriving shortly, this -

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a94/clavron/Untitled-1.jpg

And all my bras are push-up. Which can make tutoring interviews interesting. On the plus side though, if it's little Susie's dad doing the interview I'm guaranteed the job.

[The_Dark_Poet]

Holy hell....I expect many MANY nice pictures

[Deadside Dreams]

You better share them.

[new_death_arise]

Every time I see your sig pic, I wanna make a better one..>.>


I want these pictures too, pl0x

[FieryWaters]

Are you fuçking kidding me? The day I hooked up with my girlfriend she told me "You can have sex with anybody you want as long as you aren't looking for a relationship and are honest about it". It blew my mind at the time, but since then I've had sex with 1 girl named Kat while my girlfriend was passed out on the couch, then another two times with my girl involved.....and then an orgy(5 people....including Kat, Elexis, and Victoria + me and Elexis' boyfriend).

So yeah....



christian

that's f*cked up

truly

you just blew the sh*t out of my mind

i feel like kurt cobain

[Deadside Dreams]

Does that mean you collect your thoughts with a spatula just like him?

[The_Dark_Poet]

I happen to find it awesome that my girlfriend told me I can have sex with other people.

[FieryWaters]

Does that mean you collect your thoughts with a spatula just like him?



right now i feel like i need to. i really do





and christian..... bomb ass

[sadsuzie]

I fuçking own this website. No one is here but me . YOU'RE ALL FUÇKIN *****

Grammar Gestappo edit ftw.

[ansata]

Kinky went out the window now that I have 2 herniated disks in my spine. Though that's not to say that the handcuffs, vibrators, and interesting food/creams are no longer used, or that there are no chocolate dipped blow jobs. It just limits the selection of positions. And sometimes I just want sex to be excruciatingly long, even paced, and full of teasing so by the time the pleausre mounts at the end I can barely stay conscious. And maybe that's considered boring, but sometimes you just can't beat it.
And what would I like to do, but can't find anyone to do it with? I want to be locked in a room with a HOT girl. Call me shallow, but I mean HOT. lol I been propositioned by many, but turned them down because I want sombody who's smokin'.
haha That makes me sound like an ass *shrugs*

:bat

[The_Dark_Poet]

Would being locked in a room with me be an acceptable substitute? If so I'm on my way

[ansata]

haha Do you have at least a C cup? Cause that's kinda a requirement.

But yes!

:bat

[The_Dark_Poet]

Haha...I'll stuff em!

[new_death_arise]

Jess, I have D's does that count?

[ansata]

Yes!

and

Yes!

Go me! haha

:bat

[new_death_arise]

Oh baby, lets get this **** started!

[Anagaharad]

I'm sleeping with a 50yr old. Does that count as kinky?

[The_Dark_Poet]

Is he wearing a diaper? Because if so that's kinky.

[ansata]

I'd call that semi-kinky.
Do you do kinky things with him? Then def yes.

:bat

[Anagaharad]

diapers, no. Ripping each other to shreds in bed, biting, and cracking viagra jokes, yes.

[The_Dark_Poet]

Not quite as kinky as diapers, but it's good enough.

[Shivalia]

Kinky sex? whats that? :/

[Dismal Dollie]

... on a late note:

AIDS happened to kinky.

[Kieranasa]

Hey, Jess....I'm in a DD cup....verging on an E. Am I in?

[The_Dark_Poet]

You're definitely welcome to join me anytime Meg.

[Kute Kitty]

I'm actually trying to remember when I was last an E cup.

I think it was around 10-12 years ago.

I'm further up the alphabet now and dreading pregnancy simply because of the expanding boobs issue.

[FieryWaters]

ouch


you can donate some to me

i'm barely a C cup lol sad isn't it?

[Kute Kitty]

I bet they don't get in the way as much as mine do!

[FieryWaters]

they don't get in the way.... ever

[Anagaharad]

I'm barely an A so **** y'all

[The_Dark_Poet]

I'd still play with them Adelle.....and you'd like it.

[FieryWaters]

christian you're terrible lol

[new_death_arise]

Lol if i were able to id have jess's and meg's babies... mmhmm...

[Anagaharad]

I'd still play with them Adelle.....and you'd like it.

Damn straight i would!

[The_Dark_Poet]

Well at least we agree on that one.

[FieryWaters]

wow you two. you can be very ridiculous some days lol